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You slide off the stool thinking to follow her, but change your mind, knowing it will only result in her yelling at you in the street. You'll call her tomorrow and apologize, you decide, and climb back on the bar stool. The bartender sidles down towards you."Broads, huh Tommy," you say to him shaking your head. "Blow up over the least little thing." Sure Sammy. You want a fresh one?" You nod and drain the glass in front of you, thumping it back on the bar and wiping your lips. "You might want to ease back a little, Sam," the bartender says as he puts a bourbon and ice in front of you. "You're hittin' it kind of hard today. Want some coffee?" Nah, I'm good. Y'know the only thing you get when you give a drunk coffee is a wide awake drunk," you tell him and chuckle at your own comment. He nods and drifts back down the bar. You sip your drink and stare at your reflection in the bar mirror. You don't look so bad, you decide, lean featured and kind of dashing. Not bad for a guy who just. Perhaps I could blame it on that.I told Ginny about my confrontation with Howard. She scolded me for being so careless. She knew of my desire to take a lover. She does not approve. She warned me that Howard would never accept it. She can't understand why I would want to cheat on him. She sees him as the perfect husband. She's right of course. He is perfect. Too perfect.Why am I so hell-bent on self-destruction? Why do I think I can have my wonderful husband and another man on the side? I don't understand myself. It's not like I haven't had the experience of other men before Howard and I met. I know the difference. I know how much better Howard is than other men. What is driving me to the edge of this cliff?Maybe I am crazy. Maybe I do need psychiatric help. Maybe it does have to do with menopause. Too many questions. Too much confusion. I won't solve these questions lying in bed. It was time to get up and shower. Eat something. Think about what I want to say tonight. Be prepared..
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